The "Real World"

Its often said to those on the doorstep of college graduation that the “real world” is waiting just beyond. This statement would usually draw groans from my inner voice and sometimes from my audible one. What the sayers usually meant when this exited their mouth was that after college lay the wonderfully real world of jobs and bills and loans and rent and insurance and all the rest of that stuff. I often react the same way when thinking of these above-mentioned realities as I do when the term “real world” is brought up. The reason for this is that I have yet to really figure out how all that stuff works. Or perhaps if I pretend that they don’t exist maybe they will just go away. Interesting how that never works, yet I continually insist it will. But this post isn’t going to be a rant on how stupid the term “real world is”, even though it is.

Instead I’m going to spend the next bit here explaining why it is actually the truth. For the first time in many people’s lives, after college is the first chance we academically channeled humans are given to think about what we want our life to be. Some think of this while in college, and to those of you who figured it out I salute you . . . you are either incredibly driven, sure of what you want or terrified of having any sort of possibility in your life. Maybe that’s taking is a bit too far, but I don’t think so.

Being handed your college diploma (or fake diploma, which is what they do now, I’ve been told) is often the most terrifying moment of a person’s life up until that point. For the entirety of their conscious lives most of us have been in school of some kind. And regardless of the level of freedom we were given while enrolled, there was simultaneously an incredible security. Even in college, when we are finally away from our parents, free to party til all hours of the night and skip class the next day, we still have a structure, classes to go to, tests to take, papers to write etc. Some obviously choose to rebel against this structure, realizing that school isn’t for them and thus start their “real lives” sooner than those who stick it out.

The point I’m getting at here, is that once we are free from school we actually have a choice . . . . so. What is it? This is where life becomes terrifyingly real to me, and I am forced to come face to face with a sort of self-awareness deficiency. The truth is, I have no idea what I want. Let me caveat that last statement . . . I have no idea what I want to do. And despite the assertions of many, including myself, that one’s job isn’t their life I find it hard to reasonably deny the claim. Any occupation that is full time becomes a huge part of ones life. When you are spending the better part of your waking hours involved in a singular duty, that becomes your life. It’s not wonder why people you recently met will ask you the “what do you do” question. This is essentially the same question as the “how old are you” in grade school, “where are you going to college” in high school, and “what’s your major” in college. By answering this question you are, whether you like it or not, saying a lot about yourself. You are telling the person a little about your values, your lifestyle, your personality and your perceived future. Obviously these are all conjectured and stereotypical, but often they are accurate.

Certainly there are huge exceptions. Some people are working a job they hate now to pay for their real lives’ pursuit, or have a huge secondary hobby which they would claim actually “defines them”. When thinking about jobs, what I am actually doing is thinking about myself. What am I willing to do? What am I willing to settle for? Am I content to do something I don’t enjoy? And if so, why? These last two questions are particularly interesting to me. For me, I have a much longer list of dislikes than likes. I know what I wouldn’t want to do, and in this way I can sort of narrow my choices down, but still the question remains: what do I want to do? And can I find it through inaction? This is where the potential of our lives after college can quickly change into a strangulation or sort of paralysis. That there is so much to potentially do isn’t enabling but rather suffocating. I often sit and think about what I could be doing other than what I am . . . but do I do it? Sometimes, but must often not.

So in this age of occupations, careers and jobs that we spend the majority of our lives performing, where is the place for our hearts true desires. Do these even really exist anymore, outside of feelings or vague ideas about what we want our day to day to resemble? We’ll see I suppose, as for now I’m living the day to day, hoping that as some point that dream, whatever it may be, will become reality. That when asked the question, I’ll be able to respond with a certain sense of passion, and a contented smile.